Feelings

I just watched a video from an acquaintance who always does amazing posts and is really inspiring, and she talks about feeling. Not ignoring them and pushing them down, but embracing them.

She talks about eating disorders in particular, which is something to which I can relate, and how the illness makes you a robot - completely disconnected from all bodily feelings.

It made me think:
1. how strange is it that the body can completely separate itself from feelings.
With an eating disorder you don't know when you are hungry, when you suffer, when your body is about to give in - it is all subconsciously there, but it is carefully ignored. And it takes years to learn again when you are hungry or tired for example.

2. How far can you push your body?
In the midst of my ED I remember - and I know a lot of people will recognise themselves in this - I was eating on average a pot of low fat yogurt with sugar free jelly a day, and going to the gym five times a day. Thinking about it now, it is scary to think my body went with it for so long, without giving up.
Of course it was a race towards permanent damage or even death, but is it for survival purposes that feelings can be blocked out? If I had been able to properly feel remorse, fear, joint pain, hunger, compassion for my family who had to see me go through all this shit or anything other than the 'I am fat' voice, would I have simply dropped dead on the floor?

3. Do feelings exists independently?
Are they like bodily functions? Simply the bodily functions of the brain? They are universal, they are timeless - people had the same feelings as us 2000 years ago - so what are they exactly?

This was the thought of the day.